Self-Efficacy and Confidence - Why Having Self-Awareness can be your Biggest Charisma Boost

It's quite a big taboo to be able to say in our modern day society, that we are good or have a strength in a particular area. In fact, more often than not, you are branded as arrogant, narcissistic or self-centred. This however, should not necessarily always be the case. In fact, it can be one of the fundamental pillars in understanding your character and personality; and if understood properly can help you become a stronger individual.  

Understand that you have weakness as well as strength.  

Ever met someone that just seemed to have a charismatic draw? They seemed to have it all together;  so confident when they walked in the room and yet, they weren't cocky at all? How can this be when we're always told that being over-confident was a negative trait?

Did they just have high-self esteem? 

No, not necessarily. Whilst high-self esteem can be beneficial in large group or social situations, it can make you come off the one way that you don't want to come off as - incredibly full of yourself. What I believe is this - it wasn't exactly confidence that was emanating from them. Rather it was self-awareness and strong self-efficacy that was the driver behind their charisma and charm.

Self-efficacy is the understanding that you have strengths in certain areas or particular skills or knowledge for the task at hand. However, it is also an understanding that you do have weaknesses too, or areas of improvement. Overall, it is essentially having a belief that you know what you know.

Having a strong belief in these areas can literally help you either be able to drive through and push through a task or can be the causal factor for procrastination and apathy. Willpower is then a trait that is heavily affected by self-efficacy.

So how do I know if I have strong self-efficacy? 

A great example of this is when you approach a new challenge. Let's say that you started a new job and your manager or boss gave you a new system to try out and you had to finish the work by days end. You've used something similar before but this is new and foreign to you. Ask yourself this: Would you try it on your own? Would you go and ask for help? Or would panic?

If you answered that you would try it on your own - that is an example of strong self-efficacy. Being confident in your ability to try and learn the new system is what self-efficacy is. Going to ask for help is also an example of self-efficacy too, however lacking the necessary confidence in your own ability to complete the task (you are still developing your self-efficacy and self-confidence).

How do I become a more confident person through strong self-efficacy? 

One of the most overlooked aspects in our everyday lives is to be able to stop and breathe, think about where you currently stand (your personality, traits, behaviours and character) and make a plan for improvement. In order to have strong-self efficacy, if you have yet to have command over your confidence is to start from here. It is an important skill that you can develop and has wide-ranging uses in other aspects of your life and personal improvement. 

Here are some questions you can ask yourself when you complete your own self-evaluation:

1. Do I often ask other people for help before trying myself? 
2. When someone asks me what my strengths and weaknesses are, do I know them off by heart? 
3. What are some of my long-term and short-term goals for self improvement? 
4. Do other people think that I am confident in my own abilities? 
5. If asked to volunteer for a task I know I can complete would I put up my hand? 
6. Do I hesitate or procrastinate when I undertake a task? 
7. How have I changed over the past year? What has improved/worsened and why? 
8. Do I ever think I'm not good enough or well-developed enough for a task? Why? 
9. Do I put in 100% every time I undertake a task? 
10. How successful to I currently think I am at this point in time? 

Asking these questions of yourself, every once in a while can be really beneficial. Once you have asked these questions about yourself, you can begin to set out a plan of trying to improve yourself. 

Setting out a plan for success 

This is where proper planning comes in to play. Set out areas where you know your confidence has yet to reach where you desire it to be, where you have yet to develop strong self-efficacy. Using the first principles approach find the root cause of why you aren't quite as confident in particular areas as you could be. This doesn't need to be too psychiatric or psychological. For example, this might be due to previous failures or even comments made by other people. Then, set out a plan to combat these thoughts and previous experiences. 

For example, this might mean at the beginning you ask for someones help to complete a task or an activity. This is because if you complete a task successfully, it can more often than not result in stronger self-efficacy for future and subsequent tasks as you are more sure in your ability to complete them due to this success - essentially, you'll be on a roll. 

Use this as both motivation and a guide for future self-efficacy challenges - a long term vision of self-improvement. 

Any other strategies?

You don't need to show off or be in everyone's faces about how well you are at certain tasks or activities - which can sometimes be a by-product of people trying to improve their self-confidence or self-esteem. In order to prevent this from happening take this next strategy; a core foundation to this self-awareness is humility. To be able to drive this confidence boost, a lot can be learned from being humble.

You don't need to tell people how confident you are. In fact, one of the essential principles that is taught in english class can be brought over here - show, don't tell. You only need to having a personal and private confidence in your abilities and this will show in your behaviour, your attitude and your actions. Trust me, this all changes when you become stronger in your self-efficacy. Learning to be humble can help you get there, without the added baggage.