Part 1 - Achieving Happiness; Being Satisfied With What You Have

One of the hardest things that I have found is achieving an 'internal happiness'. Not the sort of happiness that you can get from a comedy festival or from a funny video but the sort of happiness that makes you feel fulfilled and complete. In this multi-part series of articles, I will go through my own expereinces of what has held me back in achieving this true happiness and the practical steps that I have taken to get there.

Happiness can only be achieved when you find a sense of balance in your life

One of my favourite movies of all time is Inside Out. It is a perfect example of this 'internal happiness' that I am talking about. Many people aren't in this current state of mind of balance and satisfaction and without this clarity in thought, your motivation will suffer.

So, What's the Problem?

A lot of what causes us this lack of true happiness is an anxiety that has developed from dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction with our own lives, circumstances, beliefs; anxiety in everyday life where the extreme focus is on what is missing in our lives. We always compare ourselves to one another seeing what other people have and have not. Whether it be about career, social lives or something else, there always seems to be a point of difference that we use to measure ourselves against other people. In simpler terms, we want more of what we don't have.

And how can we not? Our modern society gears us towards this sort of lifestyle. The most prime example is social media, where we not only upload our lives for all the public to see, but we do so in a way where we can easily, at the tap of a finger, compare our own to others. This isn't only limited towards social media but to other core aspects in our lives including media and worse, even amongst our friends. These thoughts are the ones that are holding people back from being able to achieve complete happiness.

If It's So Bad, Why Not Just Get Rid Of It?

The typical advice that is often given out is to starve yourself of the the vehicles that can cause this sort of comparison thinking. But, it doesn't target the root cause of the problem, the anxiety and dissatisfaction with what we have, and is more or less a band-aid solution. It isn't necessarily a bad thing that we want more, in fact it can be seen as a positive of wanting to better ourselves. However, in order to be happy we need to find satisfaction in our current situation whatever that may be now and where it will be in the future.

So What Should I Do Instead?

My advice rather is about setting up a process and way of thinking that can help you think not only in a more balanced way but also helps position yourself so that you can actively combat what is essentially a major part of our lives.

Here are the 5 steps that I have taken myself to try and improve happiness and satisfaction in my own life:

1) Stop and Evaluate

One of the key steps in everything I do is to stop and evaluate myself and my environment. Too often, I find that people just take advice and run with it. Whatever it may be, It's important to think about your current situation and how you can implement the advice into your everyday life.

There are key areas of importance to evaluate regarding satisfaction and you can find them by asking yourselves these two questions:

When was the last time I was truly satisfied in my life?
What do I need in my life to be happy?

This final question is the most important. Everyone is different but the one question that will help you the most is asking yourself what you truly need in your life to be happy. For me there are two central parts, my relationships (romantic and non-romantic) and also making sure that I don't live with regret. Being able to identify these key aspects of your life can help give you a starting point of what to do next to become more satisfied with what you have.

2) Accept and Understand

Finding satisfaction in your own life is about being able to accept the fact that not only is 'imperfection the perfect environment' but also that we must understand why we are where we are.

Think of it like this: If you aren't where you are at the moment, if your circumstances have placed you in an environment that you wish could be better, this is the perfect environment. Why? It allows you to grow and improve. It means that you circumstances can improve. If you are able to think of your current dissatisfied circumstances as only temporary and able to improve over time, you will be more likely to be happy with your life.

In addition to this, combine this thought with an understanding of why we are where we are. If you can identify why you are where you are, it becomes easier for the next step of goal setting.

3) Set Goals

However, just because you understand your circumstances doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do something about it. Being satisfied with what you have isn’t about being static with where you are currently at but finding happiness with wherever you may end up. This is why it’s so important to set goals.

If you want to find out more about setting goals read my other article on goal setting.

4) Journal, Journal, Journal.

This one is incredibly hard. I find it increasingly difficult to find time to actually sit down and write, let alone journal. Thankfully however this still works in a digital format. I use Day One Journal, but you can use any other substitute such as 1 Second Everyday (paid) or Leap Second (a free alternative) which are similar and will have the same effect.

In essence, these diaries or journals need to be private. Public life documentation such as Facebook or Instagram don't allow us or give us the need to re-evaluate or look back. If you create a private journal, you are more likely to read back. What's even better is the apps that I mentioned above have functions such as reflection tools or reminders of 'what happened this day' a few months ago.

This is all about being able to identify aspects of your life that are truly satisfying. If you can make it a habit, and do it on a regular and consistent basis like I have, you'll become a much more happier person.

5) Practice Giving Thanks

This seems rather obvious but actually putting it into action is a whole different story. Saying thanks shows appreciation - obviously appreciation for whatever someone else has done but also shows satisfaction for what you have, or rather, are given.

For me, this is about more than just “please” and “thank you” but extending to understanding that if someone ever does something for you, it's a sacrifice they have taken. Thinking in these contexts you are more likely to appreciate what others have done for you and this translates over to finding satisfaction with your own life. If you appreciate actions around your life, you are more likely to appreciate your own circumstances.

An easy way to start this process is by writing out the top 10 things that you are thankful for on a piece of paper. This can be anything from your career, to your family, to your friendships. Keep this in a safe and private place and when you need that reminder, or that boost of motivation, have a look back at what you wrote down.

Any other tips?

If you are able to take this steps and implement them into your daily life, you are already leaps and bounds ahead in your journey to achieve an internal happiness. Satisfaction in your life can only come when you evaluate your life, accept and appreciate where you are now and where you might end up in the future.

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